Friends Without Benefits

Well I am back at it… attracting the male misfits of the world.  This is a good one, one which left me puzzled to the point that I was speechless…

Here is a little back story to set the stage… I have a friend at work.  He is younger, by eight years; parties hard; fun to talk to; has a serious girlfriend–all qualities that would make him a friend/cool guy to keep you entertained during the down time; nothing more than that.  We have flirted in the past, but it was clearly established that he had a girlfriend and I was not pursuing that in any fashion.  He also made it clear that he had a crush on me but loved her.  Boundaries established?  Yeah, not so much…

I should have seen the storm brewing; it started with a rumor… He picked up my salad and brought it to my desk, I said “thanks babe” and that was all the gossip hounds needed to say we “were dating” or “sleeping together.”  Apparently the two are synonymous these days… who knew!?

He brought the rumor to my attention, which made me angry (I have the reputation of purity, almost angel status, to uphold here).   I wanted to work as a team to bring down the gossip hounds and deflate the rumor.  He wanted to relish in the attention like it was a secret fantasy.  After a lengthy discussion I said, “If we keep this going, what’s next?  We make out at work?”  It was like someone waved the green flag in front of him….

As I sat at my desk, he spun on his heels, grabbed my face and kissed me!  Not a gentle, casual kiss on the lips; he came in mouth open, guns blazing, ready to rumble.  To say I was flustered or shocked is an understatement.  I was speechless, it was evident.  His response, “Let’s try that again!” Ok pal, are we kidding here?  It was time to stand my ground, but what does one say when they were just mouth raped?!

I told him he was inappropriate; we were at work; there were cameras; he had a girlfriend for God’s sake!  He told me I sent mixed messages; she would never find out; his ego was bruised.  I think it is safe to say you know how this ends up—I hate him and want to murder him and he acts like nothing happened.  Ah men…

So I am left with these questions… Whatever happened to innocent flirting?  Whatever happened to guys and girls being just friends?

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