friends

New Year, New…. Blog?

To my dearest followers, my random searchers, and all my new comers-

I would like to start by apologizing for the lack of content on the blog.  When I first started this project, I wanted to be a voice and friend for people going through similar situations: realtionship drama, friend drama, drama drama.  As life become more crazy, the blog took a backseat.  I think I started to struggle with new content and the overall direction of the blog.  I was lost and the blog suffered…. 

I was struck with renewed inspiration when I saw fellow bloggers posting about their “blogaversaries.”  Let’s be honest, I was also reminded when the bill hit to renew my domain name that I have not said a peep on here or Twitter.  That is al about to change.  Screw those diet resolutions, and workout resolutions- I making a blogging resolution. 

I have decided to make some changes and offer more variety to the blog. As always, I am interested in feedback on how to make the blog better, what to add or take away, or general comments to know you guys are still out there.   I will be back on Twitter and I will also be launching an Instagram-address to follow.

I am excited to be back.  I hope you guys welcome me back and stick around and share your opinions.

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Where Have I Been?

Dating… it’s crazy and it seems that I get myself into the weirdest, most awkward, drama inducing situations.

When I broke up with X, I started to reconnect with friends that I had been “off limits.”  Along that journey, I reconnected with a male friend from college.  This was the guy I had all my good stories with, the guy who took me on adventures, got me into trouble, and I didn’t have to impress because we were friends.  It was one of the easiest and enjoyable friendships I have ever had.   He was exactly what I needed in my life after all this nonsense.

It started off innocent and simple-catch up on the present, rehash the past, and discuss the future.  Somewhere in between talking about a jello party and why we were both single, flirting ensued.  Now this wasn’t normal flirting, this was raw and emotional.  Maybe because there was a pre established comfort level there, but we shared things that most people don’t share after six months of dating even after a lifetime together.  And so it began, against my better judgment, I feel for this guy-hard.

Slow down with the celebrations over there—this is me and we all know my life is complicated.

New Guy, or shall we call him World Traveler, does not live in the same state as me.  In fact, he does not really have a state to call home because he travels all over the world for work.  He is rarely in the area, and when he is, it is for 48 hours (if we are lucky).  You can only imagine how obnoxious that is!  We have roughly laid eyes on each other three times in the past two months (talk about long distance huh?).  We work opposite schedules which makes communication a nightmare as well.  We talk every day, by text mostly, and have set up “rules” for our relationship survival (still a work in progress).

Are you screaming at me through the computer yet?  Are you telling me this is the biggest mistake ever?  Well… you should be…. this gets interesting and ugly….

TO BE CONTINUED…

M.I.A.

Hello World!  Remember me?!  I know I have been missing for a bit (more to come on that later), but I am back and thinking about starting a series on my blog….

I know a few bloggers that I follow have a regular topic post –Thirsty Thursday for cocktails, Makeover Monday for fashion, Sexed Up Saturday–for, well, the obvious… I want to post about getting what you want/need whether it be in the bedroom or in a relationship or even at work.  Stay tuned because I am working on one now, and, as always, your feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Who knows, maybe this time I will actually stick to following my own advice.

Friends Without Benefits

Well I am back at it… attracting the male misfits of the world.  This is a good one, one which left me puzzled to the point that I was speechless…

Here is a little back story to set the stage… I have a friend at work.  He is younger, by eight years; parties hard; fun to talk to; has a serious girlfriend–all qualities that would make him a friend/cool guy to keep you entertained during the down time; nothing more than that.  We have flirted in the past, but it was clearly established that he had a girlfriend and I was not pursuing that in any fashion.  He also made it clear that he had a crush on me but loved her.  Boundaries established?  Yeah, not so much…

I should have seen the storm brewing; it started with a rumor… He picked up my salad and brought it to my desk, I said “thanks babe” and that was all the gossip hounds needed to say we “were dating” or “sleeping together.”  Apparently the two are synonymous these days… who knew!?

He brought the rumor to my attention, which made me angry (I have the reputation of purity, almost angel status, to uphold here).   I wanted to work as a team to bring down the gossip hounds and deflate the rumor.  He wanted to relish in the attention like it was a secret fantasy.  After a lengthy discussion I said, “If we keep this going, what’s next?  We make out at work?”  It was like someone waved the green flag in front of him….

As I sat at my desk, he spun on his heels, grabbed my face and kissed me!  Not a gentle, casual kiss on the lips; he came in mouth open, guns blazing, ready to rumble.  To say I was flustered or shocked is an understatement.  I was speechless, it was evident.  His response, “Let’s try that again!” Ok pal, are we kidding here?  It was time to stand my ground, but what does one say when they were just mouth raped?!

I told him he was inappropriate; we were at work; there were cameras; he had a girlfriend for God’s sake!  He told me I sent mixed messages; she would never find out; his ego was bruised.  I think it is safe to say you know how this ends up—I hate him and want to murder him and he acts like nothing happened.  Ah men…

So I am left with these questions… Whatever happened to innocent flirting?  Whatever happened to guys and girls being just friends?

I want a best friend not a boyfriend!

Can someone please tell me why finding a good friend is harder than finding a good man?!  I am not talking about facebook friends and twitter followers; I am talking about living breathing people who you interact with.

In your 30s people enter your life, through work, other friends, and relationships, but actual close friends those are in shorter supply.  As people approach “adult life,” priorities change and people often become pickier in what they want in their friends.  It gets increasingly harder to meet the three required Cs of friendship—closeness, convenience, and comfort.  This is why so many people meet their lifelong friends in college, and I’m left still searching.

Let’s face it, most people my age are “set in their friend ways,” so why would they be willing take on new friends they have to get to know? People become more wary about making themselves emotionally available to new people, friend or otherwise.  I thought back to the advice I constantly hear while trying to find a man: get involved, do things you love, don’t sit around, go out and meet people. So I did in hopes of finding a good friend, but none of this is working!  Like my failed attempts at trying to find a good man, I am failing at trying to find a good friend.

For example…I was shopping and a potential friend-worthy fellow shopper asked me about my handbag (love connection!).  We chatted for a moment about the bag when I noticed her handbag.  It was quilted.  It was expensive.  It was a-mazing.  Naturally, I told her I loved it, from one handbag lover to another.  If the friendship thing did not work out, I could steal her bag, right… That is when my fantasies took over.  I started to place her in my life like I do with potential love interests.   I imagined us meeting up for coffee, going out to dinner, her fixing me up with her cute older brother, sharing clothes, and becoming besties.  Before you sound the psycho alarm, I snapped out of it and started to panic.  I didn’t want her to think I was a lesbian trying to hit on her, nor did I want to appear like a loser with no friends (am I?!).  I ended it before it began, without an email exchange or hope for future meetings.  I couldn’t help but think it would be so much easier if she was a romantic interest.   At least with a romantic interest there’s flirting, chemistry and sex.  And, maybe even the added benefit of making friends with or through them.

People will say that at my age finding a mate is more important than another friend, but boyfriends come and go and friends are forever, right?!