A Picture is Worth….NOTHING

Everyone knows that a good picture is important to online dating. As shallow as I may sound, I look first read later. Come on, you do it too!  That being said, you would assume that I have a great photo-not so much.  I have a few photos my dad took from a wedding when I had a professional do my hair.  Although I look decent, what blows me out of the water are some of the photos by GUYS not the other girls…

The glamour shot. How do some of these guys afford these professional, borderline headshots, when I can’t afford regular blow outs at a blow dry bar?  There is the black & white shot, the sun setting shot, the sexy eyes shot…. These guys are styled and posed to perfection.  Do they look like this in real life? If so, can you imagine the competition for outfit compliments?! No, no, no there is only one fashion queen and it’s me.  Moving right along.

Then there are the half naked shots.  Shirt off, shirt half off, shirt lifted up for the sneak peak. Some are flexing, or looking in the bathroom mirror taking a selfie… Those I find a tad creepy, especially when they don’t show anything from the neck up….You look way better than I do, so beach dates are out, dinner dates are out, all dates are out.

I only peruse the “clean sites,” so I will not touch up on naked pics or penis pics…

Then there are those guys that just like to be shady… they have something to hide… For example, there was the guy that used his high school picture. What a cute guy! Turns out it he had aged 17 years and 30 pounds.  Or the guy that says 6’1, more like 5’6.  They guy that only puts up group shots, but doesn’t tell you which one he is…

My favorite was “creepy eyes.” Sent me a few photos…. only of the right side…. I grew a pair and asked about it. Go me! His response, the right side is my good side. My glass eye reflects poorly with the flash of the camera. That’s a keeper ladies and gents 🙂


Mr. Flat Tire

Jumped back into dating and went out with “Mr. Flat Tire” (you’ll understand the name shortly) against my better judgement.  Why do I continue to ignore my gut feelings?! Because I am the girl of a million chances. So here is the story….

I’m scheduled to go on a second date with this guy. I call him an hour before the date and say, “Hey, Mr. Flat Tire! I was really looking forward to our date. I have some bad news, I have a flat tire (this was actually true.  I was looking forward to the date and I did have a flat tire). What would be an appropriate response from Mr. Flat Tire….you can choose more than one answer……
1. I’m on the treadmill, I’ll call you back in 5 minutes.
2. Can you find a car somewhere to borrow?
3. How about a donut? Do you have one of those to use? It’s safe to cross a bridge with those (no it’s not Evil Kenevil)
4. I know it’s Sunday, but I’m sure you can run to a mechanic and get it fixed and then get here in time.
5. I’ll get someone else to go and call you later.

If you circled all of those, you are a winner! Yes, I had the pleasure of getting all those responses within a span of 10 minutes. Mr. Flat Tire never asked if I was ok, if I was stuck on the side of the road, or if he could help. He didn’t even ask the obvious, can I pick you up?! All he had to do was offer, I doubt I would have accepted.

Perhaps I should have seen the warning signs with Mr. Flat Tire…. when we first me he was an aggressive, drunk jerk. Almost pushed me onto train tracks! First date he told me hew as vindictive and if someone messes with him, he will get back at them if it kills him. Danger!!!  He was a let down, just like the tire.

So I continue to ask… why do I keep giving people so many chances when they show warning signs right from the start?

The end is just the beginning…

Today is the first day of the rest of my life, well my blogging life. It is the birth of Dating, Dresses, and Drama; a dream that I have had for a few years now.  A chance to expresses myself, tell my stories, and break free of what I am “supposed to be at this age.”   It is time to tell the truth about life in your 30s, about friendships that hurt more than they help, and engagements that are meant to be broken.

How did this all get started? I am glad you asked that serious question because it has a very long and complicated history.

I haven’t discussed my relationship much to other people because I was trying to maintain my perfect image of what I was supposed to be at this age, the path I was supposed to follow, even if it was riddled with thorns and wild beasts in the form of a cruel future husband’s side of the family. I am walking away from my perfectly planned out life; from my relationship of four years, with an engagement of two.  Have you been in this relationship before? The one that you know you don’t belong in, the one you’re your family and friends tell you is toxic, where your own mother tells you to make a choice because she cannot watch her only child be emotionally abused by a guy?  For your sake I hope not.  Why did I stay you ask?  Fear.  Habit.  Security.   Expectancy.  Loneliness.  I can go on forever.  I was trapped in a hell of my own creation… I had lost myself completely in this person…in his lies and emotional unavailability and inability to love me like I wanted to be loved.  How could I leave him, he was my best friend, my partner in crime, he knew everything about me, he was my fiancé?!

Here’s what I decided:  I needed to stop worrying about what other people thought, what I was “supposed” to.  I need to start caring about myself and work towards my dreams instead of depending on others to make me happy.  I knew what my future would hold if I stayed in this relationship–bruised, broken, beat down, fight after fight, and conversations that went in circles with no result.  I know in my heart that this is not the person intended for me …I am little psychic and should trust my gut more.

Now that you know where I have come from, come with me as I figure out where I am going.  Enjoy my stories as I try to find new love, make friends, and reinvent myself.   Share your input, your ideas, your stories, so we can learn from each other.  I just freed up the passenger seat in my car and you’re more than welcome to hop in for the ride.